Wise Feedback

The Practice

If you work with kids you are used to eye rolls. At times it can even feel like sarcasm is the primary purpose of eyeballs with vision being just a byproduct. Particularly if you are offering up some unsolicited feedback.

Yet kids are also often in need of feedback. Without feedback they would be in danger of losing the eyes they are so adept at rolling (“Don’t run with sticks!”). Of course, their job is to test the boundaries and our job as educators and caregivers is to nudge them towards navigating those boundaries independently without letting them fall off the cliff. It can be a delicate balance.

Recently we’ve been intrigued by the concept of “wise feedback.” The author of the article, psychologist David Yeager, points out that when a parent asks, “Did you brush your teeth?”, the source of the eye roll is the unspoken implication that the child is too incompetent to remember to do so of their own accord. Instead, Yeager suggests offering wise feedback, in which one provides “critical feedback accompanied by a clear and transparent statement about the reason it’s being given—namely, the belief that the young person could meet a high standard with the right support.”

Yeager pointed to a study he conducted in which seventh grade social studies teachers returned papers to their students with corrections and either a neutral note or a note featuring wise feedback. Eighty percent of students who received the wise feedback ended up revising their essays as opposed to forty percent in the neutral note group.

Luckily for us, our students and children are often in need of support and redirection, which provides plenty of opportunity to give wise feedback that honors their abilities and intelligence without letting them off the hook. Read on for a few suggestions for how to offer wise feedback for various age groups.

The Language

For Younger Students:

• Did you finish ____ (putting your plate in the sink/cleaning up your project/organizing your cubby)? It is so cool to see you taking on these more complex challenges and our expectation is that you will be able to do it because you’ve proven to us that you are totally capable. Thanks for helping us ____ (maintain order/stay on task)!

• I was just ____ (down in the basement) and noticed that you ____ (picked up almost all of the mess). Nice work! I’m checking in now because I know you’re capable of ____ (finishing the job completely). Do you have a plan for when you’ll finish it? I’m here if you want to problem solve!

For Older Students:

• For older students: I see you haven’t ____ (completed your workout/finished your assignment/sent in the application). The reason I’m bringing it up is because when you follow through on that task it helps maintain the high standard of excellence that we have for you. We set that standard because we know you can do hard things and it is awesome to see you rise to the occasion, so please let me know when you’ve attended to it.

• Thank you for _____ (raking the leaves)! I noticed that you ____ (left the rake out in the yard). I’m checking in now because I know you can finish the job completely and ___ (put the rake away in the shed). If you need help with the lock on the shed, let me know, otherwise just go for it. Thanks for keeping the yard neat!