The Practice
A common misconception about mindfulness practice is that one has to have a deep reservoir of wisdom and experience in order to teach it. Though a background in meditation is certainly helpful when teaching specific meditation techniques, at its most basic mindfulness is paying attention on purpose. In other words, it is something we all have experience with.
This means that we are all capable of being mindful models. In fact, one study found that teachers who were merely perceived as being more mindful inspired students to be more mindful and compassionate towards themselves and others. The teachers didn’t necessarily initiate mindfulness practices but were able to bring presence and thoughtfulness to their classrooms in a way that fostered those traits in their students.
If being more present and thoughtful sounds just about as daunting as meditating every day, fear not: you don’t have to be an imperturbable automaton to model mindfulness. You can simply dial up the ways you are authentically present and dial down those moments when you are distant and distracted. Below is a reflection that will help you do just that.
The Reflection
Dial It Up:
What is one way you are already present with your kids that could be amplified? For example, do you relish moments when you can explore in the woods or play outside together? Is there a way to intentionally build in more of that into your weekly schedule?
Or perhaps there is a trait you possess that could be emphasized in particularly useful moments. Are you resilient? When you encounter a challenge, pause and say, “We can do hard things” before carrying on. Are you patient? If so, when you encounter frustration, dial up your patient response so that it is visible (cue a deep breath and a friendly smile in the face of a meltdown).
Dial It Down:
On the flip side, what is one way you could be more present? If you find yourself staring at a screen too much when you are with children, perhaps you can dial that down. If you tend to be reactive when encountering frustration, perhaps you can remind yourself to build in a longer pause before responding.
By adjusting the presence knob in various situations we can help display for our kids and students the kind of behavior we hope they will emulate. It doesn’t require an overhauling of your lifestyle but merely a subtle shift here and there that can make a not-so-subtle difference in the awareness and compassion of those around you.
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