The Practice
Taking a moment to pause and self-reflect is one of the most powerful tools in our toolkits. Self-reflection can look like a quick check-in, such as taking a breath and noticing that you made it through at the end of a long day. It can also occur in big moments, like end-of-year contemplations and celebrations, as well as everything in between. No matter the scale, self-reflection is so powerful because it forces us to slow down and creates space to notice ourselves and our experiences in a different, more intentional way.
It is often only through these quiet, deliberate moments of self-reflection that we notice microchanges in ourselves and others that we have been nurturing over time. So for this final 2022-23 edition of the Toolkit, your Toolkit authors will do some of our own reflecting as well as give you language to help your student self-reflect too.
The Language
Here are some simple ways to introduce this activity to your child/student:
We’ve been working on our mindfulness and coping muscles for many months now. The end of the year is a great time to pause and reflect—what has that been like? Which muscles feel particularly strong? Are there others you want to focus on growing this summer?
At the end of a lesson, a training, a program, or a school year people are often asked to come up with “action items”: things they will do to enact what they’ve learned. Instead of doing that, I like you to take a moment to come up with a “stillness item”: what have you learned that you’d like to sit with for a moment longer? Reflecting intentionally on what resonated with you can help cement that lesson in your mind, and the actions will naturally follow.
Toolkit Authors' Reflections
Dr. Julia Martin Burch (Consulting Psychologist): Though I’m not physically in the BDS community day to day, I’ve loved hearing from my co-authors about how BDS families have applied Toolkit ideas! I feel very grateful to be an extended part of the BDS community and have had a lot of fun this year coming up with new ways to teach mindfulness and coping skills through the Toolkit. This summer I plan to build my mindfulness of taste muscles by enjoying large quantities of JP Licks Mint Cookie ice cream.
Alex Tzelnic (Mindfulness Director): Creating a newsletter is a real shot in the dark—you click send and are never quite sure what impact it will have. One of the most gratifying aspects of this year was bumping into folks in the hallways or at events and hearing how a particular edition resonated (or even backfired…if a tool doesn’t work you might as well get a laugh out of it). As I sit in reflection, my stillness item is all of the shares I got from students and grown-ups alike about the moments that they realized practice was possible, and the spaciousness and agency it gave them, from calming breaths before a big game to uncommon compassion expressed to a friend during a challenging moment. A newsletter, it turns out, can be a powerful shot in the dark.
Joshua Sussman (School Counselor): Creating the Toolkit has helped me to focus on the tools and strategies that I use to navigate the joys and challenges in my life. One of these tools is the writing of reflective poems. Here is my reflection on a year as a member of the Belmont Day community. We look forward to continuing the Toolkit next Fall!
It always begins with smiles
Miles and miles of little mouths curled in styles
That express the joy of being a child
I smile too
When I walk by Big Blue
When I notice how much a child grew
Or when someone takes my advice to chew
This place oozes joy
Which is a great building block
To help us deal when our heads take a knock
Or there is not enough time on a clock
And our mind’s voice grows shrill
Like a nail on a board for chalk
But in these halls I hear singing
More often than not
And the sweet trill of silence
Made by children deep in thought
And I am reminded of why I am here
As I shake out my wiggles and make friends with my fear
And reflect on the reasons I hold this place dear
I am grateful to be a part of this team
To spend my days focused on helping children stay on the beam
And to be there when they stumble
And bumble
And crumble and crack
But bounce back stronger and return to the track
This is amazing and remarkable to witness
Every single day
The gift I am given to help your children upon their way
Is priceless and precious I need you to know
Which brings me to the Toolkit
Sorry the intro was a little slow
From box breaths to checking in to noticing wonder
To staying calm in moments when sounds from mouths echo thunder
This journey has been long
But the rewards without equal
It is a joy to be here
Being present with each and every pupil
Having a ball while supporting their play
And giving them tools
So they can prosper here at Belmont Day
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