Changing Chatter

The Practice

Our inner voice is powerful, considering it is always in such close proximity. Whether that power is used for good or bad, however, isn’t always clear. In Chatter, psychology professor Ethan Kross explores how the voice in our heads can have ill effects on our health and social relationships, as well as the ways we can begin to harness the power of that voice to affirm our identity and experience.

Giving students tools for changing that internal chatter can help them have agency over negative self-talk and help foster a growth mindset. Below are a few strategies that might help students recognize what is going on in their minds so that they can decide if it’s working for them and, if not, begin to change the narrative.

The Language

Our minds can be very busy places! They love to chatter away at us and say all kinds of things. Sometimes our minds say things that make us feel good like, “This art project is so fun!” Sometimes they say random stuff like, “I hope we have grilled cheese for lunch,” and other times they can make us feel upset saying things like, “I’m not good at basketball.” Sometimes our minds get stuck on a painful thought and repeat it over and over. This can be very discouraging and hard to deal with. When this happens, imagine yourself pressing pause—like you would on a video—on that thought. Then come up with a more helpful thought to “play” instead. A good way to come up with a more helpful thought is to ask yourself, “What would I say to a friend in this situation?” So instead of thinking, “You aren’t good at basketball,” you might say, “Basketball is tough, but so are you! Just keep working on your skills each day.”

Self-talk isn’t positive or negative, it is just what our brains do. Thoughts bubble up and it can be useful to notice those thoughts, but we can also choose whether or not to listen to them. Sometimes a negative thought will repeat itself over and over again, like an annoying song that is stuck in your head. One thing you can do when you see that pattern recurring is come up with a positive thought you can press play on instead, kind of like hitting next on a playlist. For example, if the thought, “I’m not good at ____ (basketball, violin, math)” seems to keep coming up, consider what a positive track might be (“I never give up and I can improve my ____ (basketball, violin, math) skills a little bit every day”). When you notice the negative track come up, press pause, and then press play on the positive track instead.